By EdCaptain editorial desk · Published
General educational guidance. No qualified clinical review is recorded for this article. Health and safety information.
“My friend’s account isn’t working. They just need to put some money through mine.” A teen may hear a request for help, especially when it comes from someone they see at school. A parent needs to notice the proposed job: receive money, then move it on for somebody else.
For families with teens aged 13–18, that request deserves a firm pause and adult help. It can be a route into money-mule activity, where an account is used to move criminal funds. Knowing the person, receiving a small payment or being told the arrangement is temporary does not make it safe.
Respond to the request before judging the friendship
Start with: “Thank you for checking with me. Don’t agree to receive or move anything while we sort this out.” If your teen has already agreed, use the same calm opening. You need accurate information more than an immediate confession or argument.
Ask what the person actually requested: an incoming transfer, a withdrawal, a bank card, a login, a verification code or opening another account. Let the teen show you an existing message if they are comfortable doing so. Do not ask them to keep chatting to collect more evidence.
Avoid declaring, “Your friend is a criminal.” The friend may also be under pressure or repeating somebody else’s instructions. Your family can refuse the transaction without deciding the other person’s intentions. Ask, “What are they asking your account to do?” rather than “How could you believe them?”
Explain why this is different from an ordinary payment
It is normal for teens to encounter legitimate payments: wages paid directly by an employer, an agreed allowance or reimbursement for a shared purchase. The concern here is somebody wanting to route other people’s money through your teen’s personal account, often with instructions to pass it on or keep a cut.
The UK National Crime Agency’s money-mule guidance describes recruitment through direct approaches, gaming chats and social media, including promises of easy money. The useful family boundary is broader than “be careful with strangers”: a friend does not get to borrow the account, card or sign-in.
You might say, “Your account is for transactions you understand and are responsible for. It is not a spare account for someone else to use.” If the explanation is “They can’t use their own account,” that is a reason to direct them to their bank or a trusted adult, not to supply a workaround.
Use a short refusal, then stop the conversation
Practise a sentence your teen can say without a long defence:
- “I don’t let anyone use my account.”
- “I can’t receive or pass on money for you.”
- “You’ll need to sort that out with your bank.”
They do not have to prove that the request is fraudulent before refusing. Nor do they owe a detailed account of your family’s rules. If they feel unsafe, they should get adult help rather than send a refusal that could escalate the situation.
For a younger teen, sit alongside them while deciding the next step. For an older teen, let them describe the facts and take part in contacting the bank, with support they can use. A birthday does not remove the need for help with coercion or a suspicious transfer. Offer spoken, written or accessible communication options; a rehearsed line can be read from a note.
If they already agreed, separate the next steps
Ask three factual questions: “Has money arrived?”, “Has any money moved out?” and “Did anyone get account access or personal information?” Write down what is known, including uncertainty. Do not delay contacting the bank while trying to reconstruct a perfect timeline.
- Stop further activity. Do not receive more payments, forward funds, withdraw cash for the person or convert the money into another form. Do not spend an unexpected incoming payment.
- Contact the bank or payment provider promptly. Use the official app, a number on the card or an independently found official website. Explain that the account may have been used to receive or move suspicious funds and ask what protective steps and reporting are needed.
- Let the provider handle the money question. Do not “send it back” to details supplied by the person making demands or move it to a supposed safe account. Follow the provider’s verified instructions.
- Preserve what already exists. Keep messages, usernames, transaction references, receipts and relevant dates privately. Do not delete them in embarrassment or post accusations publicly.
The US Department of Justice advises stopping contact and notifying the financial institution; it specifically warns against sending held funds to the person giving directions. FBI/IC3 guidance also calls for preserving communications and notifying law enforcement. Use the appropriate police or fraud-reporting service where you live. Reporting routes and legal processes differ by country.
If access details were shared, tell the provider that too and follow its security instructions. Our account-security guide can help with exposed passwords and recovery details; it does not replace contacting the financial institution about the transactions.
Treat threats as a safety issue
Pressure may sound like “You owe us,” “We know where you live” or “You’ll be in trouble if you tell.” Do not arrange a meeting, confront the person, pay a fee to make the situation disappear or have the teen continue negotiating. If anyone faces immediate danger, contact local emergency services.
Tell police about threats and possible exploitation. If the person has access to your teen at school or another youth setting, involve the appropriate safeguarding lead so they can help plan safe contact and travel. Share the information needed for protection rather than circulating screenshots among classmates or parents.
Do not promise that disclosure guarantees there will be no account restrictions or legal consequences. Authorities describe serious possible consequences, but the outcome depends on the facts and local law. If your teen may already be involved, seek qualified local legal advice, alongside banking and safeguarding help.
Make it easier to tell you next time
After urgent actions, ask what made the request persuasive: loyalty, needing money, fear of rejection or an apparent favour. Listen without turning the answer into a character label. “You wanted to help” can sit alongside “We must stop this arrangement.”
Agree one future rule: any request to borrow an account, receive unexplained funds or pass money onward comes to a trusted adult before action. If your teen cannot tell you, identify another safe adult. Our online help-seeking agreement can support that conversation.
Close with something you can honestly promise: “You can tell me even after you’ve said yes. I will help you get the right support.” Your teen needs a route out of pressure, not a test of whether they can handle it alone.
Sources and further reading
- National Crime Agency: recognising and reporting money-mule recruitment
- US Department of Justice: what to do after an approach or involvement
- FBI/IC3: stopping transfers and preserving evidence
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