Age guide: 4–9 years. Adapt suggestions to your child’s interests, communication and support needs.
Your child asks why another child uses a wheelchair or does not answer a spoken question. You may worry about saying the wrong thing. A short, respectful answer is a better starting point than a hurried shush.
“People move and communicate in different ways. We can ask what game they would like to play.” Then help your child make an ordinary invitation.
1. Speak to the child, not around them
Say hello directly. Give them time to respond through speech, gesture, a communication device or another method. UNICEF’s communication guidance advises patience, checking understanding and getting information from the child when possible.
Do not assume that someone who communicates differently has nothing to say. Equally, a child is not required to explain their disability to satisfy another person’s curiosity.
2. Ask before helping
“Would you like me to pass that?” gives a choice. Picking up someone’s work or moving their wheelchair without asking takes the choice away.
Teach your child that mobility and communication equipment belongs to the person using it. Ask before touching, just as you would with anyone’s personal belongings.
3. Change the game when the setup is the barrier
- Bring a shared project to a reachable, stable surface.
- Leave enough space to approach and move away.
- Show a rule as well as explaining it.
- Offer a quieter place or fewer players if that helps.
- Allow different ways to take a turn.
Ask the children what would work. The adult does not need to invent a special role before finding out what the child wants to do.
4. Offer real choices within the play
A child can choose where the road goes, which character enters the story or when to stop. Being included should involve some say in what happens, not merely being seated beside the group.
Avoid automatically casting one child as the person everyone helps. Every child can have ideas, preferences and strengths, and every child may need support at times.
5. Keep questions respectful and private where needed
You can answer a general question briefly: “That device helps them communicate.” If you do not know something, say so. Avoid guessing diagnoses or sharing personal information about another child.
In a school or organised activity, ask the responsible adult about access needs and appropriate support without making the child a public lesson.
Inclusion can begin with a familiar question: “Would you like to build with us?” The next step is listening to the answer and making the invitation workable.
Try next
- Small helpers, real contribution: kindness beyond your front door
- “But I’m still using it”: sharing without the tug-of-war
