Age guide: 13–18 years; product access remains subject to its rules
“It’s easier to talk to the bot.” Hearing that can leave a parent feeling worried, excluded or unsure what to say. Before arguing about whether the chatbot is a real friend, find out what your teenager is getting from the interaction.
The short answer
- AI companionship is a real parenting concern; a warm or convincing response does not make a chatbot a safe confidant.
- Listen without ridiculing your teen’s feelings.
- Check the product’s rules, privacy practices and independent safety assessments.
- Keep trusted people, everyday routines and appropriate professional help in the picture.
Common Sense Media’s 2025 research examined teenagers’ use of AI companions and the trade-offs involved. Its safety assessment recommends against social AI companions for anyone under 18. UNICEF also highlights risks when AI interactions begin displacing other parts of life. Neither source suggests parents should diagnose a child from chatbot use alone.
1. Ask what the chatbot offers
Choose a calm moment. Try: “What do you like about talking there? Is it the stories, the quick replies, or having somewhere to talk?” Your goal is to understand the appeal before deciding what needs to change.
- Ask whether the interaction is entertainment, role play, advice or emotional support.
- Make room for an uncomfortable answer, such as feeling unheard at home.
- Avoid laughing at the relationship or calling your child foolish.
2. Explain the difference between responsiveness and responsibility
A chatbot can produce supportive-sounding words without knowing your child as a person does. It cannot take responsibility for their wellbeing. You might say: “Something can feel comforting and still give unsafe advice. I want you to have people who can actually help.”
Avoid promises that an age setting or parental alert will detect every concerning conversation. A product’s safety claims are not a substitute for staying available.
3. Agree on privacy boundaries
- Discuss what should stay out of chats: identifying information, intimate images, passwords and other people’s private stories.
- Read what happens to conversations, including storage and deletion, before assuming a chat is confidential.
- Do not help a child bypass minimum-age restrictions or pretend to be an adult.
4. Look at everyday life, not a label
Check in about sleep, friendships, school and enjoyable activities. If chatbot conversations are crowding these out, or your teen is distressed by the interaction, make a plan to reduce access and increase real-world support. Changes in behaviour can have many causes; don’t assume the bot explains everything.
5. Bring in a person when support is needed
Ask who else your teen feels comfortable approaching: another caregiver, a school counsellor or a qualified health professional. If there is an immediate threat to safety, stay with your child and seek urgent local help. Don’t rely on a chatbot to manage a crisis.
A conversation worth having tonight
“I’m glad you told me. You’re not in trouble for having feelings. Let’s work out what this tool is doing for you and where a person needs to be involved.”
You don’t have to compete with instant replies. Make one realistic offer you can keep, such as a regular walk or an uninterrupted check-in.
Keep exploring
- AI and homework: how to help your child learn without handing over the thinking
- Social media age limits: have the conversation before the argument
